Not Okay
by Pixies Between The Pages
Summary: Demigods who wake up screaming, demigods who will no longer touch a weapon, demigods that are clearly not okay. Short piece about after the battle on BOO. Extreme angst, depression, character death, and some suicidal thoughts. Based off of a tumblr post, credited inside.


**So, if I haven't updated anything in a few months, I blame that on tumblr. I'm discontinuing The Leviathan Rises, but I swear I'm trying to update Destinies Entwined.**

 **Anyway, some credit goes to zoenightshadow on tumblr who came up with this idea and gave me permission to expand on it.**

 **To the anon: THANK YOU. For the pointers and the praise! Thanks!**

 **WARNING. This is very angsty and has mentions of depression and such other depressing things.**

* * *

So, maybe they weren't okay anymore.

 _Okay_ is such a weird term. At least that's what Lou Ellen thought as she watched her half-sister Michelle cry herself to sleep every night. That's what Nyssa from Cabin 9 thought when Christopher woke with hollow eyes. That's what Sophia thought when Clovis couldn't bring himself to sleep anymore, afraid of the nightmares that haunted him.

Chris Rodriguez, barely recovered, was thrown back into a state of shock and despair. Clarisse La Rue would follow him with a worried gaze, but would direct her glance away every time he noticed, because all she saw in his eyes was his deceased sister. They had to break it off eventually. Coach Hedge would find Clarisse desperately holding onto tiny Chuck's little hands, as if grasping onto sanity.

Lacy, who had never gotten over Silena's death, trotting out of her cabin with a smile that quickly dissolves into a look of hard determination as she nears the forest. The nymphs, pulling her out by her hair as tears stream down her face and she sobs indistinct words like, "I couldn't save her! She was too young...Too young...Too much blood-"

"Katie, you can't leave." Chiron's says, and he sounds so tired, because this has taken a toll on him too.

"Try and stop me." Sweet tempered Katie Gardner turns around, her brown ponytail swinging, her eyes full of pain and anger.

"You'll be _killed._.." Travis Stoll says, seemingly materializing out of thin air. Chiron wearily notes that he's been doing alot of sulking in the shadows since Connor got his head injury.

"You think I don't know that, Stoll?" Katie snaps, her breath coming out in short gasps. "But you know what? I'm done with this crap. I'm done with the demons, with the drakons, with the freaking sea creatures. I'm done."

And Travis knows why she's finished. He knows why, because it's painted on her face. Because he sees her flinch every time Miranda's name, because he knows she's relieving every moment of her sister's horrible death.

So, he shakes his head at Chiron, and lets her leave.

Kayla and Austin from Cabin 7 not being able to look at each other. Jake Mason noticing the murder in the glances they exchange, and trying to get them to work it out. That night ended with the two Apollo children nearly killing the son of Hephaestus.

"I can't forgive him!" Kayla shrieks, storming away like the force of nature she used to be.

Austin sighs, and crouches to the ground where Jake Mason lays, and shaking his head. "Sorry, didn't mean to attack you like that, man."

Pulling himself up, Jake glares at the other boy. "Whatever. What's your deal anyway?"

Scowling and staring over Jake's shoulder he mutters, "Kayla blames me...For Cindy..."

And suddenly, Jake understands. Cindy Lewis, the sunniest of the sun children with her low pig tails and bright smile. Only twelve years old, burned a few days ago in a flower yellow burial shroud. She had been told to hide, but snuck out anyways with her little knife.

She never stood a chance. And now, her siblings were destroying each other, and themselves over her death.

Will Solace walks in on Nyssa in the weapons shed, staring at a rack of swords with dead eyes. He takes it all in with one glance, one healer's glance, and sits next to her, because he understands that mental health is just as important as physical health.

He's not the most tactful person though, and not the type to let the silence sit until she's ready to talk. So, instead, he taps her shoulder and gently asks,

"Everything okay?"

And Nyssa raises her eyebrow in a perfect expression of disbelief. "Seriously Solace, you're asking me if I'm okay?"

Will remembers little Harely and how she'll most likely never walk again. He remembers Christopher who doesn't sleep anymore. He remembers how Nyssa was looking at those weapons.

And he looks down and coughs. "Well, I guess not..."

"Good, because the answer should be obvious." She tosses her head and trains her gaze on the blades again.

Now Will lets the silence sit, but still not out of tact, but out of discomfort. Eventually, the tinkerer's daughter raises her voice again.

"It's not fair..." She whispers, her brown eyes looking back at her in the reflection of a knife. "Percy and Annabeth...Don't get me wrong, they've been through alot. But it's like...People are only acknowledging their trauma. Just because they've been to Tartarus."

"Hey," Will says, and there's a defensive ring to his voice. "Going to Tartarus and coming back? They deserve all the sympathy they're getting. Imagine how horrible that would be...Going in there alone...?"

Nyssa raises her eyebrows, not commenting on how the son of Apollo's voice had drifted off. "Well, the rest of us have been to hell and back as well."

The blonde lowers his head and thinks on that for a few minutes before nodding. "Yeah, you're right."

Michelle with her bloodshot eyes. Christopher who roamed instead of slept. Clovis who didn't dare to dream anymore. Chris Rodriguez who was halfway to insanity once again. Clarisse La Rue who was holding onto Chuck like a life line. Lacy, who wished it was her. Katie, who didn't want anything to do with the world of magic anymore. Connor, who still hadn't woken up, and Travis, who was silent because of it. Kayla and Austin, two siblings who can't look at each other in the eyes anymore. Jake Mason, a peace keeper who gave up. Cindy Lewis, too young to go up in flames. Nyssa, who stares at blades just a bit too long. Will, trying to fight a battle he can't win.

So maybe they're not okay.

But can you really expect them to be?


End file.
